One Down . . .

to my dear friends,

to set the record straight, i am not a blogger and do not know blogger "protocol." so, it has been a month since my last blog, kinda sounds like when i was a little girl in the confessional booth. please forgive my tardiness for this-it's gonna' be long.

as you all know, on the 16th of march, i had my surgery. my lovely husband gave you the facts surrounding the little details that followed.

the last month has been a time to physically heal as well as emotionally process all that has taken place in what seems to me to be a very short time. in this time, many appointments, blood work, nuclear tests were made. on monday i had an outpatient surgery to put in a "port." a port is a handy dandy way to administer chemo and other blood tests and not use my whimpy veins which seem to bruise/shut down if you look at them in the wrong way.

this past month has also been a time for me to cry out (sometimes weep) to the Lord. it has been a month that i must look at His truths and remind myself that these are the only truths that will empower, encourage, strengthen, and sustain me. as much as i love my docs (they are the best around) and they give me great medical hope, i want to place my trust in Jesus and in him alone. what would i do without Him? He continues to be my "hiding place."

this month has been a wonderful time of seeing the love of family, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, people i do not know, old and new friends, health care workers- all meeting a need in our life for love, help and compassion in ways i never even imagined. i think this has been something that has overwhelmed me the most. i know there are so many pains and hardships in so many families all around us-but they keep giving, a call, an email, a blog post, a card, a meal, flowers, a visit from the sOnshine cleaning crew, these are too much for me take in but i feel so absolutely blessed and Not alone. thank you. i love you all like you will never know.

it has also been a time to see the beauty, protection, love and tenderness of my husband. as you can imagine, bruce is walking with me so closely. at times, wanting to be strong, he may build a hedge of protection around his sweet, tender heart. being the "toughie" i have always been, i "lovingly" (he he) remind him that this is the time to draw us closer to each other and to our Saviour, no time to build walls. (i hate walls by the way.) how precious to have a strong man who hears my heart and can weep with me and respond. how precious that he has other strong, Godly men to listen, pray, counsel, and love him. i pray that God continues to mold and shape us and uses this in our marriage and in the lives of others in the decades to come.

today was my first session of chemotherapy. i wore red lipstick thanks to cami and (stacey-my new favorite mac make-up girl.) it was lovely. bruce went for my first session, my mom stopped by with an iced mocha swirl latte from dunkin donuts (my once in three week chemo treat), my oldest and dearest friend, my brother mark-even stopped by for his lunch break. i met two new friends, susan and shelly, both breast cancer patients. susan was an alumni, shelly was new. it was like a mini counsel and "tips" session. encouraging and emotional. of course, the nurses, what precious and loving people. . . i am feeling good at the moment, and that is why i wanted to jet out this blog before i begin to feel the "effects" of the day. it helped when i arrived home to be greeted by flowers planted in our bare entryway by my dear friend trudes. (i love you!) nothing brightens a day more than little, colorful reminders of God's beauty.

1Peter 1:3-8
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ!

Lord Jesus, test my faith and may it be found to be genuine and faithful. i know this trial is for "a little while-" help me trust in You and You alone. i love You. terese

Update from Oncologist visit

On Wednesday afternoon, we went to see our oncologist (Dr. C.) to get all the details from the surgery. Our last update (Friday) was very brief from the surgeon's nurse.

Dr C. did confirm that the surgery was successful. No cancer was found on the right side. The cancerous masses were removed and 2 out of 20 lymph nodes did have cancer. As stated, margins were clear of cancer. Dr. C. told us that the cancer was rated at stage 3 (on a scale from 1-4). We were hoping that it would be staged at 2 since they "got it all" but since the size of the tumor was pretty large (5 cm) and it did enter the lymph nodes, it was rated at stage 3.

He told us that if we did nothing at all (chemo or radiation), the chances of returning was 75% and it would not be curable only treatable. Of course, we are going to do something and he recommended 6 sessions (every 3 weeks) of chemo and then 5 weeks of radiation just to put this cancer to bed! We are going to follow this advice to a T. The Dr is very hopeful especially with the preventative chemo and radiation.

We plan to start in 2 to 3 weeks.
Bruce

For all things . . .

"speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father." Ephesians 5:19-20

sunday, almost a week after my surgery. i cannot stop thinking of how thankful i am for what has been given to me. . . my thoughts are not fluid but i am able to list a few of my favorite things to be thankful for this week. some may make sense, others may not. i pray that in all things, regardless of circumstances, i am able to give thanks!

no one tells you what wonderful "things" a cancer diagnosis can bring into your life. i have never felt closer to my Lord, my family and friends. i wish we could all experience what i am experiencing on a day to day basis with or without a diagnosis. i do know that one day, we will truly live like we were meant to live, until that day, let us press on . . .

i am thankful for:
my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who promised that He would never leave me or forsake me-and He hasn't, a husband who sees me as beautiful, sons who are walking with me as they never have, longer hugs, tender kisses, lots of i love yous, a precious daughter in law who is "real" with me, the most beautiful granddaugther who makes me "forget" my circumstances with a little kiss, having a mom who is my "armor bearer", number one fan, protector as well as calf massager, having a brother who speaks and shares God's truth with me when he knows my heart can deceive me, having Cami who looks me straight in the eye and tells me to hide nothing from her even though i know it may cause her pain, having a brother who affirms to me that i am one of the most feminine women he knows, having grown up nephews who can say "i love you auntie," peace, a pink ribbon bracelet, having a "personal candy striper" who delivers onion rings and fries to my health conscious family during my surgery, love, joy, a "comfort box" made by the most awesome little friend, friends who are weeping with us, friends who want to rejoice with us, psalms that are read to me by my man, email prayers, text prayers, in person prayers, pizza party prayer meetings, prayers that continue to sustain me, blog responses, watching Godly men and family encourage Bruce, compassionate doctors and nurses, candace's homemade apple pie, mastectomies that rid my body of cancer, nuclear medicine, cards, letters, notes, flowers, pain killers, meals, desserts, golden spoons, friends who stick closer than a brother, hearing caleb play guitar, laughter, renewing times of worship, being stripped of modesty and vanity, new mercies each day, biopsies-18 out of 20 lymph nodes CANCER FREE-Hallelujah, watching friends return to Jesus and praying, cards like justin's that remind me that there is a precious, tender young man behind the tough 16 year old exterior (you know i love you) new friends, reconnecting with old friends, that being a daughter of the King is what defines me-not the external, God's promises, His presence, being barefoot-and loving it, dying to self with all "my" brilliant plans and agendas, that i can trust my Savior when i say "take my life and do with it as you please."

from a favorite hymn, "oh praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead-Jesus!"

Some really great news!!

Today, we went to the surgeon's office to get one of the drainage tubes taken out. The nurse took out all 4 of them. That was a blessing to have those gone. As her husband, I am just glad that they are out. I love her like crazy but I am glad they are out.

Now for the great news:

When the nurse came in, she had the results of the lymph node cancer test that they did. We didn't think it would be done but it was. Only 2 out of 20 had cancer in them. All others were cancer free. She said that all margins were cancer free too so they believe they got all cancer out of Terese. We were both crying in the office from joy. The nurse even started to tear up too. She still will have to go through chemo just to make sure but we are very thankful that the surgery got it all. Thanks for all your prayers. She is doing so well. She is sleeping well and we go for walks. Our time together is sweet.

Bruce

Terese is home now

Terese is now home from the hospital!! She is strong considering what she went through. She was given the opportunity to stay one more day but was feeling well enough to come home today and is doing very well. Thanks for all your prayer. I am going to let her give more insight when she is more available to write.
Bruce

terese update

From Bruce.
Terese just got out of surgery and I just chatted with the Dr. He said it went well. No cancer on right side but it appears to be in the lymph nodes on the left. She is still under. Pray for her emotional being now and a full recovery.
Bruce

hiding place

I woke up singing the words to an old, familiar song. It is 2:30 in the morning and in a few hours, I will be going in for surgery. The words of this song, based on Psalm 32:7, give me great peace.

"You are my hiding place

You always fill my heart

With songs of deliverance

Whenever I am afraid

I will trust in You

I will trust in You

Let the weak say

I am strong

In the strength of the Lord"

He is my hiding place, I will put my trust in Him. I pray these words echo in my thoughts all morning and I will enter the hospital with a song of deliverance in my heart!

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:6